Mourning is a process. Some days are good, some days are not. Today I got to comfort a friend who joined the mourning process, and help another as she works through grieving. Yesterday, I spent time with an older relative who shared with me stories of her youth. I heard the sadness in her voice as she talked about people who were all gone. I was inspired by her spirit cause she keeps on living. She is involved in life.
Through all of this, I find peace. It puts me to sleep every night. It guides my day. It reminds me of its origin. I am blessed.
How you answer questions determines where you are in life. I got a good picture of where I am in life.
I got a text this week that I needed to change my emergency contact from my mom. You know it is in those moments that I realize what I lost. It made me sad. No one on earth will care about me the way my mom did. She cared about where I went, what I did, was I getting enough rest, did I eat. If someone had ever called with an emergency she would have said “Where is she?” She would not have cared what was wrong, but would have broken barriers to be with me.
But isn’t it a good God who gives you this kind of care for a portion of your life? I know some people never get that kind of love. I am blessed that He gave her to me.
Another question I ran across this week was “What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?” I didn’t have to think about it long. My answer was all of the stuff I have been doing, the writing, the photography, the filmmaking. Crazy thing is, I never thought about it that way. I have just been doing what God planted inside of me. He has been so gracious in leading me. I feel blessed to be able to look back and see that I am doing what He made me to do. I can’t think of anything else I would want to do.
My life is in a good place and so can yours. So if you take those daily steps of spending time with the Lord, one by one; you will look around one day and see what an incredible place He leads you too. I live my life saying “I am going to do what God wants me to do” and He leads me to a path that fulfills all my desires. People will ask you questions and you will think: Wow!Some days I am overwhelmed by His love and thoughtfulness. He is so amazing. But Israel and Yolanda Adams sing it better.
There are those who would steal your dreams and hope. There are those who want nothing more than to see you fail. Sunday, I had a revelation that I shared with my Facebook Friends.
“I have to share this because I know some of you are waiting on the Lord to act in your life.
This morning I was on my way to church and I was singing with the radio. I don’t remember what song it was. But the Lord and I were having a conversation. He told me that sometimes we are waiting because He has to take the teeth out of the serpent that is waiting to bite you. He didn’t say He was gonna stop it, but He said it wasn’t going to harm you. You see He has to show you and the serpent who is in charge.
So whatever you are waiting on, know that God is de-fanging something that was trying to hurt you. Be still and know.”
I am in a time of waiting. It is hard, but God sends hope. You just have to look for it.
You have to learn to appreciate the times of waiting. It reminds me of the last full day of my mom’s life. She was having a surgical procedure and we were waiting with her for her turn. My mom, my sister and I had some of the best laughter we have ever had together. This procedure was just one of the tasks of the day. We were in a hurry to get home and get ready for Christmas. We had started talking about Christmas and ended up talking about her childhood. She had us rolling in laughter.
We were a little irritated that the procedure had not started. They originally gave us a 10am start time. Well, 10 am came and went. We were still having a good laugh, but by 12 we were looking for explanations. Closer to 1 they came and got her.
By 5 or 6 we were up in her room, laughing and talking again. We had been joined by my youngest sister and my Mom’s youngest brother and his wife. For hours we talked and laughter. Sometimes my Mom laughed so hard, it hurt her incision. The final story of the evening was how my little sister tried to run away. We hollered. It was so funny. I could not wait for Mom to get home and hear more.
She never came home. That day of fun was all the fun I would have with her. Sometimes we are so anticipating the coming thing, we miss the moments we are living in. But I serve an awesome God. He knew what was coming. He gave us precious hours I will always remember, but they came in the form of a delay.
If things are not happening the way you want, if there is a delay in your plans, ask God for a revelation. He is taking the sting out of the bite.
Running for her life, Sandy Herrick discovered that God was the only one with her who wasn’t talking smack, trying to kill her or get into her pants. As she and her friends try to figure out who framed them, they all discover that there was more to each other than they thought they knew.
As evil forces closed in on them, they have to determine who they trust and what they believe about each other. Would this be enough to save them?
Old years pass, new ones come. Sometimes it just seems like another day. Sometimes the day lands on a milestone. 2015 is going to be a milestone for me and I am excited. Amazing things will happen in 2015.
One of the best things I saw on Facebook was “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” Life should be filled with ups and downs, with people you love and hate, and places, lots and lots of places.
It is easy to get into a routine and become comfortable with the pattern. It is not our nature to venture out of our safe zones. We tend to like things we can control. I guess I can only speak for me.
I can truthfully say 2014 was not like any other year I had. I was out of my comfort zone often. I experienced things I had not experienced before. God led me through this year, and it was an adventure. Toward the end of the year I prayed “Lord, show me what you want me to know and keep from me things that you do not.” He was faithful.
I have tried to give up understanding everything that happens and have chosen to trust God’s plan. As I raise my daughter, she doesn’t get explanations for everything I teach her. Sometimes she just has to trust me. Sometimes I just have to trust Him.
I have chosen to cherish the memories He has given me and be a blessing when I can. I am a child of the Most High God, (John 1:12) and that is something to rejoice over. Happy New Year Everyone.
This journey toward Christmas has been very different than past journeys. I had the opportunity to reflect on this year and some really fun times with my family and friends. I got to revisit doing some things I had never done before. I got to celebrate life with the people I love.
The Lord has used my 49th year of life to stretch me in ways I have never been stretched before. I made a feature length motion picture. I have led an awesome small group of women in bible study. I got to take care of my mom and spoil her before she went to meet Jesus.
I have a lot to be thankful for. The Lord really helped me put things in perspective. If I could take all of the love the Lord has showered on me and turn it into coins I would be a billionaire. I am loved. And that is a successful life.
Forgiveness. It is one of the greatest gifts God has given to me. When I am stressed, I need an overdose of it. As I push on to accomplish the tasks on my list, sometimes things get run over or fall off.
Over the last couple of days I have tried to juggle planning family Christmas, a funeral and finishing a movie. Some things have fallen through the cracks, but I know it will all work out.
God teaches us even through our grief what a marvelous God He is. As we reflect over the past few days we are allowed to remember His goodness, His faithfulness and His sovereignty.
On these last couple of days before Christmas I am reminded of a Savior who loved us so much He came down here to be with us, and take us home when we are ready. I don’t think we can comprehend the depth of this love. I know I can’t.
But in my grief, I like to think that this feeling I am experiencing is what my Savior feels for me. That His heart aches for a time for us to be together again. An amazing love came down from heaven and I don’t think we will ever grasp it.
Today’s present was great. I asked my mom what was the best Christmas present she ever received? One of my sisters was with me and liked the question. As my mother took a minute or two to think about it, my sister added “Was it a doll or a toy?”
My mother stopped thinking and said, “We didn’t get toys for Christmas.”
“You didn’t have a doll?” my sister asked.
“Only ones I made,” mom said. She went on to explain how she would put straw in a pop bottle and pretend it was a doll. My sister couldn’t wrap her mind around this.
For the next hour my mom told us a story she had told several times before, but this time it stuck. My mom’s family was so poor that they never celebrated Christmas the way most folks did. There was no tree or presents or idea of Santa Claus delivering goodies to everyone.
I asked my uncle, “What did y’all think of Santa Claus?”
He said, “Nothing, he wasn’t coming to our house.”
They would have a good meal and they were blessed to have that.
As a kid growing up, we had good Christmases (loved when I got my bike) and a few not so good Christmases. But we always had one. I love how God takes one thing and makes another. He has taken her from no celebration with her first family to over celebration with her own children.
We laughed as we talked about my mom’s childhood and how hard it was. I am amazed that she can find laughter in it.
There are amazing stories in your own family. Take time this holiday to chat with your older family members and hear them.
There are beautiful simple lives waiting to be explored.
One of the presents I received this year was four days in the dark.
What looked like a light storm came through our city one evening, lasted about 30 minutes. Ripped up the place.
The power went out on my street and it didn’t come back on for four days. We had a tree land on our roof.
Those four days in the dark gave me time to think about the God I serve. I mean why on earth was He leaving me, His faithful servant in the dark and no electricity in the middle of a Texas summer? What purpose could this serve?
It was a chance to get to know HIm better without the distraction of daily routines.
I am currently reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer. One of the principles I have gleaned from this reading is “those who know God have great contentment in God.” This contentment happens no matter what. This year, He allowed me to see if I had that type of contentment no matter what. Some moments I was cool. Some moments I was “Okay, Lord, fix this now!”
Packer’s argument was once you truly knew God nothing could disrupt your peace. He said people who truly knew God lived differently. They have something that the world can’t explain.
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