We are family

The final section for this series is Emotional. It speaks to making social and meaningful connections with others. These are the people you encounter and who influence your life. Sometimes is it family, sometimes it is friends, sometimes it is strangers on the street.

Do I think I can walk out of the house in my pajama pants to run some errands? My sisters and daughter would kill me.

Do you ever really leave BSF leadership? I have friends who still taunt me with “We sure miss you in the mornings.”

The other day I encountered a woman who tried to hold it together while she told me how her life was falling apart. I could not put words together to console her. After she had walked away, the Holy Spirit gave me instructions and I followed His wisdom.

The last couple of years of my life has focused on the connections that influence who I am.  One of the things I learned was that the only thing that last forever is your relationship with God. All of our other relationships on earth come to an end but everything else builds on that relationship with God. If you want to have peace, allow God to have the most influence in your life.

If God takes someone from your life, trust Him. He knows what is best for both of you. I had too many influences or the wrong influences. God showed me through a series of trials that things that I thought were true of people was not.  People who I did not like, He taught me to love and cherish. People who I loved, He cut from my life.

When I was younger, I had a good friend who I met in college. She had a great deal of influence in my life because we were friends. She was intelligent and well connected. She had a lot going for her. She also had some things going on in her life that God’s word did not approve of. At that point in time, God did not have the influence in MY life to counter the influence she had. God removed her from my friends list and began to teach me His ways. Looking back over my life, He was right.

So today when He starts removing people from my friends and family list, I roll with Him. When He adds people, I roll with Him.  I know it is not about me. My influeners list is short. All of the people on this list KNOW God and LOVE Him.

Take a serious look at the people you are connected to. This area of your life can take all your energy and drain you if you allow the wrong people to have influence. I look at the stop signs God has placed in my life and I know He was right.

I remember one time He gave me a “go” sign and I thought He was tripping.   I was doing a small group study through my church. I remember sitting at the little table for sign ups. I had one person from church interested in joining my group. Then I watched God surround this Ph.D student with a bunch of seasoned social workers. I remember thinking, “Wow, God that is soo cool.” We have all been praying for each other ever since. Trust Him. My small group is better than your small group.

The only thing better than my small group (and yes my sisters are part of my small group) are my sisters, Pooh and cousin Kisha. I am going to send a shout out to the travel group, WWC because I do not want anyone smothering me with a pillow on our next trip.

I spend time with these people and share life together. We don’t always agree, but we do lots of laughing. Make sure the people who influence your life can make you laugh, support you when you cry and point you to the Most High God all the time.

These are the people who influence my life. They say “That’s stupid, don’t do that.” Or as my younger sister says, “I have friends in this city and do not want to see you on a episode of Cops.” We are family.

Better Check Yourself ‘Fore You Wreck Yourself

I know lots of people going through struggles and difficult times right now. What I have learned from my own struggles is that God is using these adversities to strip things from me that keep me from being what He’s created me to be.

As I reflect on many of the struggles I have had this year, I have a new found freedom. It is a blessing. There is nothing like peace that comes from heaven. It will not go away when the heat turns up in your life. People will look at you funny, like why are you not freaking out about this? When you know the One who controls all things, and you spend time with Him daily, you trust Him.

Sometimes God is trying to get you out of situations or away from people that poison your spirit. Many of us fight it because we have grown dependent on those people or situations. God has to wrench these things from us and it hurts because we have been holding on to them so tightly. God is our only source and He wants us to know it.

We will stay with a job until it destroys our health. We will stay with people who destroy our self esteem. We are physically broken, mentally broken, spiritually broken, yet we want God to do something great in our lives. We are not giving Him anything to work with. We continually fight against the good that God has for us because we do not understand it. When He rips these things from us, we are sad and depressed, but it usually for the best.

This week I began looking at the poison people in my life. If you are one of those people hanging on, watching, not adding anything to my life, your days in my life are numbered. If I have asked you for something and you have ignored me, your days in my life are numbered.

As long as we live in peace, you don’t have to like me. Today’s bible verse confirmed it “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24. Some of the folk who are struggling are trying to keep those many companions and wondering why their lives are in ruin. Focus on the one who will stick closer than a brother.  Stop worrying about your haters and think on the one who loves you.

One of my morning readings is The Secret of the Vine by Bruce Wilkerson. God is constantly pruning vines in your life to see that you continue to be fruitful. Stop second guessing God’s decisions. If He has ushered some people out of your life, let them go.

Stop allowing people to drain you and not put anything back. When God cuts them off. Let them stay cut off. Test every person in your life for what they are adding. Even God gets rid of branches that don’t produce anything good.

I am not going back to the way I used to be. I am not going to let people poison me by not valuing the vessel God is molding. I am going to trust the God who leads me. He knows what I need.

God is creating something beautiful and I am going to value it.

Peace

Mourning is a process. Some days are good, some days are not. Today I got to comfort a friend who joined the mourning process, and help another as she works through grieving. Yesterday, I spent time with an older relative who shared with me stories of her youth. I heard the sadness in her voice as she talked about people who were all gone. I was inspired by her spirit cause she keeps on living. She is involved in life.

Through all of this, I find peace. It puts me to sleep every night. It guides my day. It reminds me of its origin. I am blessed.

 

Reflection

Some people observed, while others celebrated the memory and work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr this week in the United States.  I decided to listen to his speech “I Have Been to the Mountain Top.”  This was the last speech he gave.

This speech reminded me of what a great preacher he was.  He talked about how there was trouble in the land and the world was messed up. Funny how we think the same thing about today. He reminded his crowd that “only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”  This is a good reminder for us city dwellers who seldom see the stars at night.

But it is only in those times of trouble do we appreciate those moments of peace. The Lord has promised to never forsake us, even though we go through challenges. As long as He is with us, there will be stars in a dark night. Look for the stars.

This is a great speech. I hope you find many treasures there.

4 Days Til Christmas

Peace.

In the midst of my storm, the Lord has given me peace.  This year He has taught me to be where I am. Whether I am up or down, be there. Often, He has a reason for placing us in the situations we are in. I can’t say I understand, but I trust the one who made it.

Even though my heart and head conflict, being where I am helps me to appreciate the moments in life.  I am appreciating spending time with my family. I have had moments with them I will remember the rest of my life.

Christmas has taken on a new meaning for me. I still love the Christmas story. It will still be my favorite time of the year. This song has been running through my head everyday.

 

20 Days Til Christmas

I appreciate the awesome gift of a road trip.  My WWCrew and I have been to many places. This year we made some short trips, but they were just as fun. There is nothing like taking off with my friends to chart uncharted territory.

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We load up on snacks and hit the road. It is too fun. The car is filled with laughter and learning. We are foodies, so the destination usually involves a restaurant.

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We stopped at KD’s in Oklahoma City. This one was fun. The menu’s lite up, the food is good, but warning the portions are huge.  We have discovered through trial and error that there are two things we need to ensure a good meal: Dr. Pepper and Bread. We enjoyed the food and realize needed to walk around after eating.

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We also believe in experiencing history and learning from the past. It was a beautiful day to visit the Oklahoma  Memorial.

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Life is too short to spend it with a bunch of haters. Cling to those who love you, let go of those who don’t.  Peace is a gift and you need to protect it. Lots of people will say that they are your friends, but how do they react when you need them? When people show you who they are, believe it. God reveals things about people to us for a reason.  He doesn’t want you to stop loving and praying for them, but He doesn’t want destructive people having influence in your life.