In a few months, I will be 50. Excited. Reflective. Energized.
I am reaching a half century mark and it doesn’t feel it. Some days I have to remind myself I am going to be 50. Whoop! Whoop! Fortunately for me, the bible studies I have done this year have had me reflect on my life and what it means. (I serve an amazing God who lays everything out, I thought I was learning more about Him, and He is teaching me about me.)
My life has been this amazing adventure that has taken me places and allowed me to do things I would have never imagined. All the glory goes to God for this. With each experience, He is chipping away at the stone and creating something marvelous. He is taking all of those bad experiences and people and sanding down my rough places. Although at times, He brings up some stuff that scares me. Don’t push me cause I bite. I am only restrained by the leash of the Holy Spirit.
He has taught me through poisoning and a car wreck, that Satan wants me dead. But He has taught me that I am not going to die until the time He prescribes. Know that for yourself. You won’t go until God says so. And it also tells me that the work He does through me is powerful and lasting. I want the work I do for God to count in His book.
God has done some amazing things through me in the first 50 years of my life. My favorite is a kid who is almost 17 years old. Wow! Life as a single parent has not been easy, but it has been worth it. I love watching what God is doing with her life. I have learned so much about my relationship with God through my relationship with her (parent to child). Another of my favorites was teaching the Book of Romans to 2 year olds. God’s got joke, y’all. And I thank Him for Jennifer Curtis as my first co-leader crusader. He has allowed me to visit Washington DC several times. He let someone like me walk the streets of the Capitol of the most powerful country in the world. He has promised that I will walk the streets of Heaven one day.
One of the bible studies I am doing with my sisters. It is a blessing to hear their recollections of the past because it is often not the same memory as mine. It was also neat to hear their challenges, because as a kid I never thought about my siblings having challenges. The more we talked, the more I am amazed at how God worked His plan through our lives. He took poor disenfranchised children and put them in one of the better elementary schools of the day. This school happened to be across the street from the university they would one day attend.
One of the things I have learned in the last couple of years is that God is into details. He orchestrates our lives down to the details of it. There were several “white” elementary schools closer to my home. But the Lord bussed me to a specific school where I met specific people who change the trajectory of my life. There are people from my elementary school days who will have a place in my heart always. I was reminded of this when I saw a picture on Facebook this week.
When I was a young African American girl in elementary school, I spent much time with a young Anglo American, Duncan Parrish drawing plans for the future. We had the best time. Duncan and I had our lives planned out in drawings. Our lives did not turn out the way we planned it in elementary school, but the time together created a bond that surpasses understanding.
Sometimes the things you plan don’t turn out the way you expect, but it creates powerful moments. You build relationships with people that serve the moment. As harsh as racism has been in my life, there are moments like those that point my heart in a different direction.
If the first 50 were that good, I can’t wait to see what the next 50 hold. In my 49th year, I finished my first feature film with the help of awesome friends through the love of the Lord Jesus Christ. If I can do that, the future is limitless. You can read and memorize Philippians 4:13, but when you live it. Wow!
Many years ago I chose to walk in faith and trust God with my life. I didn’t want to be a person who just spoke the word; I want to be one who lives out her faith. I am so far out on the branch that if the Lord doesn’t hold me up, I will fall. (and if I fall, He will catch me). I have prayed for the Lord to surround me with people who live out their faith because iron sharpens iron. He is faithful.
I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. My summer bible study group is made up of 10 to 12 women who have been meeting together for the last 13 years. I have been in BSF for more than 15 years, with hundreds of sisters living the life we were called to. He is a blessing.
There is nothing like allowing God to work through you to accomplish His good work. It is humbling. Each day and experience gets better and better. He is a wonder.
Peace and Hair Grease