Christmas Moments

Life is full of great moments and I had one today. Some friends and I were talking about buying Christmas presents for our children and how overwhelming it could be.  Then T said “Remember when all you really wanted for Christmas was a bike?”

“Yes!”

Remember when everyone in the neighborhood had to have a bike.  And if you didn’t have one, you were riding on the back or sitting on the handlebar.  I remember getting my bike for Christmas. (and the hell of having my father try to teach me to ride it.)

But I learned and rode with my friends who had bikes. We would ride fast with the wind in our hair. We would pretend to be bus drivers or race car drivers.  There was a hill where I lived so it was always a challenge to get down the hill and still be upright on your bike.

And then T said “Then everyone wanted roller-skates.”

And so did we. This was before helmets, knees pads and etc. I remember my sister and I in our bright new white skates with the cousins skated to the store. When we was almost at the store, this big dog jumped out barking.  Baby we was like those Fred Flintstones feet. (Running as fast as we can but going nowhere.) (Although my sister did fall on broken glass and hurt herself) But we made it through.

T reminded us of the Walkman and that Boombox with a record button. You could put your cassette tape in and record yourself singing. Beautiful memories.4

My pastor said we should give our kids memories, not more stuff.  He was right.  I have great memories, as jacked up as some of them are. I wouldn’t trade them.  Go make memories.

Merry Christmas

This journey toward Christmas has been very different than past journeys. I had the opportunity to reflect on this year and some really fun times with my family and friends. I got to revisit doing some things I had never done before. I got to celebrate life with the people I love.

The Lord has used my 49th year of life to stretch me in ways I have never been stretched before. I made a feature length motion picture. I have led an awesome small group of women in bible study. I got to take care of my mom and spoil her before she went to meet Jesus.

I have a lot to be thankful for.  The Lord really helped me put things in perspective.  If I could take all of the love the Lord has showered on me and turn it into coins I would be a billionaire. I am loved. And that is a successful life.

3/2 Days Til Christmas

Forgiveness. It is one of the greatest gifts God has given to me. When I am stressed, I need an overdose of it. As I push on to accomplish the tasks on my list, sometimes things get run over or fall off.

Over the last couple of days I have tried to juggle planning family Christmas, a funeral and finishing a movie.  Some things have fallen through the cracks, but I know it will all work out.

God teaches us even through our grief what a marvelous God He is.  As we reflect over the past few days we are allowed to remember His goodness, His faithfulness and His sovereignty.

On these last couple of days before Christmas I am reminded of a Savior who loved us so much He came down here to be with us, and take us home when we are ready.  I don’t think we can comprehend the depth of this love. I know I can’t.

But in my grief, I like to think that this feeling I am experiencing is what my Savior feels for me.  That His heart aches for a time for us to be together again.  An amazing love came down from heaven and I don’t think we will ever grasp it.

 

 

4 Days Til Christmas

Peace.

In the midst of my storm, the Lord has given me peace.  This year He has taught me to be where I am. Whether I am up or down, be there. Often, He has a reason for placing us in the situations we are in. I can’t say I understand, but I trust the one who made it.

Even though my heart and head conflict, being where I am helps me to appreciate the moments in life.  I am appreciating spending time with my family. I have had moments with them I will remember the rest of my life.

Christmas has taken on a new meaning for me. I still love the Christmas story. It will still be my favorite time of the year. This song has been running through my head everyday.

 

5 Days Til Christmas

Five days before Christmas, one of the things I am most thankful for is prayer. I have the best prayer warriors in the world.  Prayer is a staple in my life. I talk to God everyday, but sometimes my need out weighs my ability to approach Him. When I can’t pray the things I need, it is great to have people in my corner.

When God shows His authority over my life, He also shows His compassion and provision. I am blessed.

Another thing I am grateful for is tradition. When my daughter was younger, I used to have a tradition where she and I would watch the Judy Garland Christmas Show during Christmas time. It was one of the few black and white shows she would watch with me.

Here is a good moment from the show.

6 Days Till Christmas

The Lord had been preparing me for yesterday for a while. He spoke to my spirit that she was winding down.  From the outside, you couldn’t tell but those of us who knew her, could see. She was no longer on the road, she was content to be at home.

One of the things I will always remember about my mom was she told me Barack Obama was going to be president before he ever received the Democratic nomination. I remember thinking this woman is crazy. America is never going to elect an African American President.

An African American woman who was raised in a segregated South got to see Barack Obama become President of the United States. She grew up riding at the back of buses and not crossing the railroad tracks after dark. She got to experience God’s faithfulness.

The Lord allowed her children to gather around her and cater to her. He allowed her grandchildren to amuse the heck out of her. He gave her above all she could imagine or desire in a family.

I almost had 50 years with her. Nothing was funnier than both of us with our readers trying to see something or her laughing at my hot flashes cause she remembered them.

She taught me a lot about life. She taught me how to laugh. She lived what a strong woman looked like.

One of her favorite singers, Nina Simone summed it up.

8 Days Till Christmas

Today’s present was great. I asked my mom what was the best Christmas present she ever received? One of my sisters was with me and liked the question. As my mother took a minute or two to think about it, my sister added “Was it a doll or a toy?”

My mother stopped thinking and said, “We didn’t get toys for Christmas.”

“You didn’t have a doll?” my sister asked.

“Only ones I made,” mom said. She went on to explain how she would put straw in a pop bottle and pretend it was a doll. My sister couldn’t wrap her mind around this.

For the next hour my mom told us a story she had told several times before, but this time it stuck. My mom’s family was so poor that they never celebrated Christmas the way most folks did. There was no tree or presents or idea of Santa Claus delivering goodies to everyone.

I asked my uncle, “What did y’all think of Santa Claus?”

He said, “Nothing, he wasn’t coming to our house.”

They would have a good meal and they were blessed to have that.

As a kid growing up, we had good Christmases (loved when I got my bike) and a few not so good Christmases. But we always had one. I love how God takes one thing and makes another.  He has taken her from no celebration with her first family to over celebration with her own children.

We laughed as we talked about my mom’s childhood and how hard it was.  I am amazed that she can find laughter in it.

There are amazing stories in your own family. Take time this holiday to chat with your older family members and hear them.

There are beautiful simple lives waiting to be explored.

10 Days Till Christmas

One of the presents I received this year was four days in the dark.

light bulb

What looked like a light storm came through our city one evening, lasted about 30 minutes. Ripped up the place.

The power went out on my street and it didn’t come back on for four days. We had a tree land on our roof.

Those four days in the dark gave me time to think about the God I serve. I mean why on earth was He leaving me, His faithful servant in the dark and no electricity in the middle of a Texas summer? What purpose could this serve?

It was a chance to get to know HIm better without the distraction of daily routines.

I am currently reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer. One of the principles I have gleaned from this reading is “those who know God have great contentment in God.” This contentment happens no matter what. This year, He allowed me to see if I had that type of contentment no matter what. Some moments I was cool. Some moments I was “Okay, Lord, fix this now!”

Packer’s argument was once you truly knew God nothing could disrupt your peace. He said people who truly knew God lived differently. They have something that the world can’t explain.

I want to live out that kind of faith.

I

11 Days Til Christmas

I have been fortunate enough this year to have moments of clarity. Moments where the Creator of the universe spoke to me through a situation and I learned something I was able to apply to my everyday life. Here is one from April:

Had a revelation as I was walking out of Target. A mother and her young son, about 3 or 4, were walking toward the door. She said “We are going to Target.” He was crying and yelling “No.” Even though he did not want to go, he was walking right beside her. He was steady crying, but stayed at her side.

Some days that is how my Christian walk is. God is taking me places and like the little kid, I am screaming and crying, but steady walking with Him. He promised He would never leave us or forsake us. He didn’t promise we would like everywhere He took us.

No matter how out of hand that child got at the Target, his mother didn’t leave him there. No matter how crazy my life gets, God doesn’t leave me there.

I am a visual learner, so I like it when He gives me visual lessons. He had drug me through some situations this year, but I could feel him tugging at me. He kept telling me, we are not going to stay here. (Amen!)

So wherever He is leading you, go. He is going with you.